you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
