what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
