You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
