Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
