the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
