Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
