Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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