i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
