I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
