planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
