her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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