I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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