I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
