I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
