i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
