I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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