he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
we're making bets on your personal life
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
