Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
You ate ashes out of my bong
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