Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
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