..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Randomize
