next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
