i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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