Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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