Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
