This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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