And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
