Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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