she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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