Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
