Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
