how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
