Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
