I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
