: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
