I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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