Whatcha textin bout Willis?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
