it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
