she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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