you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
pop tarts are not kleenex
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
