we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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