i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
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