Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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