You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
