i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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