i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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