What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
