I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
