Quick, to the slutcave!
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
