no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
It's shark week go big or go home
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
