yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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