I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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